Thursday, August 21, 2014

You Just Can't Please Them!

Human nature is amazing - people can be so generous or so cheap.  They can be polite or rude.  They can either be caring or uncaring and they always wish they had hindsight!  And sometimes the open their mouths without thinking!

While vacationing, years ago, at Bayman Bay Club on Guanaja (no longer in existence), we had occasion to hear people complain about the most amazing things.  For example:  "I want a different room because I'm too close to the sea and the ocean noise is keeping me awake."  or "Why don't you serve more beef instead of fish here?"

I recently stumbled upon these complaints posted by a rather famous travel company and think you will get a chuckle out of them:


1. "I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local convenience store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts."

2. "It's lazy of the local shopkeepers in Puerto Vallarta to close in the afternoons.  I often needed to buy things during 'siesta' time -- this should be banned."

3. "On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food."

4. "We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our own swimsuits and towels. We assumed it would be included in the price."

5. "The beach was too sandy. We had to clean everything when we returned to our room."

6. "We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as white but it was more yellow."

7. "They should not allow topless sunbathing on the beach. It was very distracting for my husband who just wanted to relax."

8. "No-one told us there would be fish in the water. The children were scared."

9. "Although the brochure said that there was a fully equipped kitchen, there was no egg-slicer in the drawers."

10. "We went on holiday to Spain and had a problem with the taxi drivers as   they were all Spanish . "

11. "The roads were uneven and bumpy, so we could not read the local guide book during the bus ride to the resort. Because of this, we were unaware of many things that would have made our holiday more fun."

12. "It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England. It took the Americans only three hours to get home. This seems unfair."

13. "I compared the size of our one-bedroom suite to our friends' three-bedroom and ours was significantly smaller."

14. "The brochure stated: 'No hairdressers at the resort.'  We're trainee hairdressers and we think they knew and made us wait longer for service."

15. "When we were in Spain, there were too many Spanish people there. The receptionist spoke Spanish, the food was Spanish. No one told us that there would be so many foreigners."

16. "We had to line up outside to catch the boat and there was no air-conditioning."

17. "It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel."

18. "I was bitten by a mosquito. The brochure did not mention mosquitoes."

19. "My fiancee and I requested twin-beds when we booked, but instead we were placed in a room with a king bed. We now hold you responsible and want to be re-reimbursed for the fact that I became pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked."

I am sure that you too have heard some crazy things come out of people's mouths and I am also certain that these are wonderful things for a comic routine!






Thursday, July 24, 2014

Conch Festival





It is time once again for a week-long celebration in Guanaja!  Over the years the inhabitants of the island got better and better with planned activities, decorations and expanding the repertoire of the festival so that this year the Conch Festival just got better.

This year is really special.  Everyone is trying harder at being more creative and offering more in the way of entertainment and fun. And this will be a year that the children get more out of the festival than in the past.  

First of all, on the second day of the Festival there is a family day at Graham's Cay.  Also, from what I hear there will be para-sailing demonstrations by some world class kiters, and of course, lots of food and entrainment.  The 3rd and 4th day will see parades in various hamlets bringing out the children (and adults) dressed in costumes.  Once again, even before September 15th (Independence day), the children will be making music on their drums.




To top this off, on Wed., July 30th, there will be lots to see, eat and experience.  And, there will be special games for the children at Manati along with a new ride: the Twister.  



The Rumms' (managers of the Restaurant), came up with a brilliant and inspired ride for the children (and adults too).  They erected a 50' pole (well anchored I must say) and from it suspended a cross beam by 4 ropes.  The idea is that one person sits on either end and another person pulls the beam around the pole winding the ropes around the post.  The "worker" pulls the beam to get them started and the riders start whirling around until they reach the bottom where the things begin to rewind and they have another go at getting dizzy.  There are 3-legged races, bobbing for apples and many more games for the children. 

There will be stands selling German Beer, sausages, pork, SpƤtzle, a German homemade noodle, and potato salad.  There will be a stand selling handcrafted items along with jams and Mango vinegar.  And for sale will be a variety of plants, bags of potting soil and containers for those who delve in gardening.  The big plus will be appearing, Guillermo Anderson, Honduran Singer-Songwriter,and world-renowned famous music artist to entertain one and all.  

From the 31st on to Aug. 3rd, there will be more marching bands allowing the children to display their talents and a new addition, children's games on the Cay.  The final day, the re-enactment of Christopher Columbus' landing, will include a skit portrayed by various children of the island in costume.  Every year the skit gets more creative and interesting.

And, we must remember, there will be "float parade" of boats decorated to arrive at Soldado Beach for the re-enactment.



So, if you are bored and want some fun, entertainment and a good time, as they say in the South; "Come on down!"



Wednesday, July 9, 2014